


Fakesprits

by trickstersGambit



Series: Asteroidstuck [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Asteroidstuck, Best Friends, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Have I tagged this enough?, Hurt feelings, M/M, Multi, Relationship Issues, Species swap au, matesprit, moirail, moral support, tumblr astroidstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-22
Updated: 2012-06-22
Packaged: 2017-10-30 23:43:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/337508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trickstersGambit/pseuds/trickstersGambit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They were flushed for the same troll. He wasn't ready to face his feelings, so instead of putting more on his  plate to deal with, two friends decided to pretend everything was alright, and became the best fake Matesprits Alternia ever saw, until the game. Until Feferi tried for their positions. Until the end.[discontinued. Please do not ask to take this up, or for me to continue.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fakesprits

**Author's Note:**

> For Kitteh, and her eager support of everything I manage to spew from my fingers, to notebook, to the computer. Based in the world of [Asteroidstuck](http://asteroidstuck.tumblr.com). edit, 6/22/12, upload date changed to expose the series to a new audience. Thanks for reading!

Jontan Egbert made it a practice to sit at least six feet away from the husk-top when he was colouring. He didn't want to accidentally get pencil shavings in the keyboard and have to explain it to his moirail. The exasperated sound of his voice, while amusing, wasn't something the small, blunt horned troll wanted to deal with.

The downside to his decision to sit away from the computer was that when the chat client-Trollian, now-decided it was going to light up and chime with a new message, Jon, in all his myopic wonder, wouldn't be able to tell who it was.

Messages rolled in. Chime after chime after chime. The boy looked up from the table slung across his lap and squinted at the screen. That was an awful big blob of purple sliding down the center of the red field, wasn't it? Wow.

He set the pictures to the side and moved to perch next in front of the screen, leaning in close.

\--caligulasAquarium[CA] began trolling trickstersGambit[TG]--

> CA: jon are ya there  
>  CA: because i need a shoulder  
>  CA: i know ya havve a moirail but havve a heart  
>  CA: jon could ya please come ta the computer  
>  CA: ill make it wworth yer wwhile or somethin  
>  CA: im not asking for a moirail  
>  CA: just a friend  
>  CA: or a mock moirail or somethin  
>  CA: because im really in need of some  
>  CA: i dunno advice or somethin  
>  CA: please jon  
>  CA: jon  
>  CA: jon  
>  CA: help me jon yere my only hope  
>  CA: no one else wwill listen ta me  
>  TG: oh gosh! calm down ed.  
>  CA: alwways cute howw ya use your moirails nickname for  
>  me  
>  CA: do you use solls too  
>  TG: heh heh you know it :B  
>  TG: seriously though. did you get into a fight with  
>  feferi or something? TG: because i can't think of any other reason you'd be  
>  needing imitation pale...  
>  CA: ya could say that yeah  
>  TG: uh oh. this doesn't sound good. alright ed.  
>  TG: talk to me.  
>  TG: my substitute moirail cap is on.  
>  CA: ya really wwould moirail the entire univverse if ya  
>  could wwouldnt ya  
>  CA: yer insane jon  
>  TG: they tell me that.  
>  TG: i want to see the studies proving it before i decide  
>  to believe it.  
>  TG: quit skirting the issue you silly fish!  
>  CA: she dumped me jon  
>  CA: i mean its not the first time but  
>  CA: i thought wwe wwere doin wwhale  
>  CA: no wwait  
>  CA: wwell  
>  TG: gosh that sucks.  
>  TG: ok hang on.  
>  TG: okay, i'm on my way.  
>  TG: i'll pick up some treats on the way.  
>  TG: see you soon  
>  CA: wwhat  
>  CA: jon wwhat  
>  CA: jon come back
> 
> \--trickstersGambit[TG] is idle--
> 
> CA: shit

\-------------------------------------------------

Jon felt brave. His many trips out of the hive(To Gamzees or Solls, with one or the other escorting him) had bolstered his courage enough for him to feel prepared to make the run to Eridan's hive.

Wherever that may be.

Wherever it was, it was a long freaking way out there!

That might have been because he lived on the edge of a huge desert.

Grass planes gave way to woody forests, which thinned rather quickly to gravel and rock that covered this area, sparse sand and grass in some places, sharp stone in other. As intimidating as it looked, it wasn’t enough to deter Jontan Egbert.

He was brave. He was safe-essentially. His friends would protect him if worse came to worst.

He hiked his sleeves up and prepared himself for the climb over the rocks, eyeing their sharp edges.

“They can’t be that bad. Who would let sharp rocks exist in the wriggler area--Adults would let sharp rocks be in the wriggler area. Adults don’t caaaaaaaaaaaaare.” he muttered, braving the first large rock-a boulder really. A sharp stray rock caught his hand as he threw it carelessly up, slicing through his palm. The young troll hissed and shook his hand, glaring at it, then at the stone. “Asshole.” his cheeks went red and he lifted his head, looking around for a particular highblood.

“...No. That’s dumb, Jon. Equius is aaaaaaaaaall the way over that way with that bitch vriska.” he muttered to himself, picking up the rock and willing it into his sylladex, only to eject his favorite crayons. After retrieving those, he lost his favorite book, (A compiled version of a collection of books which encompass a story formerly spread across three volumes In which four lowbloods, two mid bloods, and three high bloods gather together on a quest to save Alternia from a megalomaniac who hides behind a great wall and watches all, by destroying a ring that turns the hero invisible no less than five times and has been known to drive men mad with power. Includes implied quadrant flipping, Forbidden matespritship between a midblood and a highblood, and a seatroll falling into a moirailiegence with a short and stout subjuglator). After that it was Eridan’s favorite movie (In which Troll Mathew Mcconaughey and Troll Kate Hudson play an estranged pair of matesprits who flipped to kismesis and are driven apart by Mcconaughey’s eager high blooded treasure hunting ways only to be brought back together as matesprits when they work together to find a grand treasure. Includes no less than two explosions, six emotional moments, two instances of a moirail having to interfere for plot development and two chase scenes.) and as soon as that was returned to it’s place the snacks he’d gotten for both himself and Eridan went flying-packaged, thankfully enough(Roe cubes were great, and so were gummy candies and popgrubs, separately packaged, tucked into a bag to fit onto one card together. Best thing, if Eridan didn’t like one, more for him.) when he gathered that back up the rock that had offended his hand was ejected.

He was never going to get the hang of the damned thing.

“ALRIGHT. Enough of these sylladex shenanigans!” he snarled, snatching the rock up and setting it to a card next to a battle-hammer Gamzee had given him(YoU cAn NeVeR bE tOo CaReFuL mY lItTlE mUtAnT bRo). “Into the strife-deck with you” it would wind up being useful. Probably. Hopefully.

The other side of the rock-hill was a dock. Jon stood on top of the hill(was this natural, or did some STRONG highblood put it together?) shaking his sleeve down over his palm to hide the wound. It ached, and it was bleeding pretty bad, but he could deal with it. His friend needed him. It wasn’t like he was going to NOT help his friend when he’d come so far. It was just a little knick, and Eridan wouldn’t notice if he kept it to himself.

Jontan gazed down at the dock, then started his descent, more careful with this trip than with the trip up. There was a boat there, a little row boat, but it would get him where he needed to go, and he scampered up to it.

Fear wracked him for the first time this trip. He was a land-dweller. Land dwellers weren’t allowed to learn to swim...

“Sufferer help me be as brave as you would be in this situation.” he whispered to himself, hugging his sweater tight around himself before climbing into the boat. “Let this trip be worth the effort. Let my bravery not go unrewarded... Let me live up to the reputation you saddled my sorry buttocks with.” shaking hands went to the oars and he started out to the water, praying he was going the right way.

You could only do so much without the greater part of your vision.

It seemed like hours. Jon’s shoulders ached, his hands were sore. The cut had scabbed and torn open and scabbed again as he worked his way over the water, finally arriving at the hive that looked like a land-locked ship.

Jontan heaved a sigh of relief as he tied his little boat to the rock the ship was perched on, then leapt off.

“ERI-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!” Jon shouted, checking his palm-bleeding, ugh. Mutant red. Gross.

“ERIIIII-DAAAAAAAAAAN!” he cried again, grinning. “HONEY, I’m HO-OME” he snickered, climbing up the rocks. It had to be the silliest thing anyone could say to a friend when they arrived at their hive, but Jon thought it would be worth it just to see the high-blooded sea-troll’s face. Best prank ever. Even if it was only Eridan who’d experience it. The door swung open and said sea troll glared at him, lip peeling back, gun aimed at him.

“Gosh ED! You’d think when a friend came over for a feelings jam you’d be a little more hospitable! What’s with all you guys baring your fangs or shaking your weapons. Gosh. It’s enough to make a guy feel hated!” he threw his arms around Eridan, giggling. “Now take me inside and let’s cheer you up, you sour old troll!”

“You’re willin’ to commit pale infidelity for me?” he frowned, brows furrowing.

“We’re friends ED. I’m here to take care of you. Gosh Eridan. It’s not like you don’t already spill the contents of your think pan and blood pusher on me all the time anyway!”

“Oh COD Jon you really ARE insane!”

“No. I’m just not conventional. I’m revolutionary. A whole new breed of troll who just genuinely likes people being happy, no matter what they’re like. And you needed my help.” he threw his hands up, flapping the sleeves back and forth over his hands.

“I didn’t expect you ta haul ass over here though.” Eridan gaped, shaking his head.

“I wasn’t doing anything important anyway, and you seemed really upset! How could I let you sit over here all upset and stuff when I have two perfectly good feet... And I even over came my ‘unhealthy fear of water’ as you put it.”

“You’re odd.” Erdian quipped, reaching out to ruffle the shorter troll’s hair.

“EVERYONE says that.” he grinned.

“Jon...”

“So I brought snacks, and that movie you like, and a book that I like that you might enjoy.” Jon was quiet for a moment, then grabbed Eridan by the scarf, swiped his glasses and put them on. “Let’s get serious for a moment...”

“What? Jon I was usin’ those...”

“Now I am. Big question: What are your intentions toward my Moirail?” He asked, hands on his hips, head tilted to the side.

“Soll?”

“I only have one moirail.”

“I... I can’t tell you that.”

“Then I can’t tell you what I meant.” he shrugged. “Point me to your entertainment center, E.D.” He rocked on his feet, peering at Eridan through the sea troll’s own glasses. Once he was behind Eridan, Jon pressed a clump of sweater into the cut on his hand, hissing in pain. He didn’t realize Eridan had paused until he smacked into his back. The boy gulped and stumbled backward, muttering apologies, hugging his hand to his chest.

“Are you alright?” Eridan leaned down, peering at him.

“I’m fine, no worries.” he smiled weakly, holding his arm to his chest. Eridan’s hand snatched it, and he watched in morbid fascination as the fingers were curled open. “Hey, Jon, what’s all this redstuff?” he took a handkerchief from his pocket, blotting it, brows furrowed. “...Jon...” He peered closer, then looked up at Jon, who smiled sheepishly. “There’s no blue in your blood.”

“Eh.... Stuff happens.” he shrugged, looking at the colour of his blood, trying not to retch or cringe. He could see it every day and still be ill at the sight.

“You type in blue but you bleed red...Jon you could be culled for th-”

“I know. Gosh Eridan. Everyone likes pointing that out. I can be culled for having this shade of red. I can be culled for pretending to be blue blooded. You know my secret so spill yours. I’ve earned it.” he tugged his wrist free, only to have it snatched back. He was forced to stumble after the royal troll, made to sit on a pile of weapons while his hand was bandaged, and suffer through his hair being ruffled.

“OK now I’ve REALLY earned it.” he waved his bandaged hand. “Spill. Secret for a secret. C’mon Eridaaaaaaaaaaan.” Jon whined, pouting at the highblood sea troll prince.

“Fine, fine just stop fuckin whinin.” the seatroll rolled his eyes, flopping down next to him. “I think I’m flushed for him, okay?”

Jon was quiet for a while, making his friend fidget uncomfortably.

“Say somethin’ Jon. The suspense is killin’ me.”

The silence pulled on for a few minutes longer.

“Sollux can’t. You can’t say anything to him right now. He can’t know...”

“Why? What’s so bad about confessin’?”

The silence fell again, Jon toying with the length of his sleeve.

“Sollux...I think he had feelings for Aradia, and she may be talking to him again, but he still blames himself for her getting hurt. He can’t figure out what he felt. I can tell. He’s upset and he can’t even see it.” he explained, his voice soft. “That’s what Moirails are for. They see more of you than you do. You’re there to make sure they don’t hurt themselves, or other people, or get hurt...”

“What’re you sayin’ here, Jon? I’m not followin’.”

“I’m saying you have to pretend to care for someone else. Don’t give him anything else to think about while he figures himself out.” Jon lifted his head, staring at Eridan with the most serious expression he’d ever worn. “Be there for him, yeah, but for the sake of whomever you worship or believe in, don’t give him something else to confuse him.” he reached out, setting a hand on Eridan’s.

Eridan stared at him, then turned his head away.

“What do I do if I can’t say somethin’ ta him about it?’

“Pretend. You pretend you’re alright. You pretend you care for someone else. You pretend that you’re not thinking about pailing him. You be there for him, and leave the relationship as it is, no matter how bad it hurts you. No matter how much pity you have for him.” he said softly, his voice hitching in places.

“... Ya care for him, don’t you? Ya pity him too?” Eridan ventured, hunching down to meet Jontan’s eyes.

“I’ve known him since we were two sweeps old. I know everything about him, from how he sleeps to what his favorite food is, and that he pretends he doesn’t care about eating, but he’s grateful, so grateful someone remembers to help him. That his eyes light up when a code works the way he wants it to, and that his brow only furrows a little bit, and his tongue pokes out under his fangs when he’s focused. I pity him so much it hurts, and I have to pretend I don’t pity him, or anyone else, just so he doesn’t worry about me, because when he does he looks so hurt and lost...”

Eridan watched his face as he spoke, and set a hand on his shoulder.

“I know he pretends he doesn’t like being contacted when he’s programmin’, but he’s so grateful when he’s given a break because he gets so confused and frustrated. I know that he wishes more people would do it. You can tell because if you contact him at a hard point his wordin’ is slightly more...”

“Gentle?” Jon offered.

“Yeah. The more he talks... Like he didn’t know he needed the break until someone gave it to him. He gets pissed off when no one dares to talk to him. Like just one person makes everythin’ less irrritatin’ or frustratin’... And now that you shared... I guess it’s only worse.”

“It gets worse, not better. ’Specially when you see him face to face.”

“Yeah, I guessed it would.” Eridan laughed, causing Jon to giggle with him. “So what...we just...”

“Pretend, yeah. Business as usual. Deflect attention. Find a logical reason to be concerned.”

“Like what?” Eridan frowned. “Pretend to be flushed for you so I can get close to him?”

“Oh god. What?”

“I dunno. We pretend to be in a relationship, it’s not unusual for matesprits ta try ta understand eachother by gettin’ ta know their matesprit’s other quadrants...”

“You’re not serious.”

“I’m serious. An’ if it doesn’ work with Soll, if neither of us can get him, what do ya say to maybe... bein’ eachother’s emergency pail?”

“E.D. That’s a long way off.”

“Is that a no?”

“It’s a maybe. A yes to pretending to be matesprits... It’ll comfort Soll...And a maybe to emergency pail. If we find another person we can pity, it’s off. Deal?” he held his un-injured hand out for a shake.

Eridan’s clammy, webbed hand took Jon’s warm, long fingered one, joining them firmly in a serious shake.

“Deal. Pretend matesprits, potential emergency matesprit pail.”

“Best friends?”

“Hell fuckin’ yes.” Eridan replied, and the two of them laughed.

“Movie time!” Jon declared, ejecting everything from his sylladex.

So occurred the birth best-friendship, the start toward a downward spiral of seemingly and completely unrequited affections.


End file.
